The Game
by xxTrebleMakerxx
Summary: "I want three grandchildren!" "Shishou!" "Don't worry Baa-chan! I'll make sure-" "Dobe, as if you would be able to have any kids, let lone with my Sak-" "Stupid Uchiha, I knew my blos-" "She may have known you longest Kazekage-sama, but I believe my love pref-" "Uncle, stop being a pedophile."...That's my life now...And all of them aren't even here yet...I am going to kill Ino...
1. Chapter 1

**Konnichiwa! Congratulations! You have the unfortunate horror of testing out my first ever "SakuraXMulti" fic! Read on for humor, fluff, and perverts!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of Masashi Kishimoto's characters.**

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"Sasori! Get your freaky puppets away from me!"

"Naruto! What did you do to the laundry room? There is ramen everywhere!"

"Madara! Quit referring to me as your wife! You are twenty years older than me, you disgusting pedophile!"

"Neji! Get your hands off of my vanilla conditioner!"

"Deidara! Stop trying to blow up the bathroom!"

"Sasuke! If you respond like that one more time, I will shove this lamp up somewhere I know you won't want it to be!"

"Hidan! Did you just cuss my grandmother out over the phone? What the hell is your problem?"

"Kiba! You tracked mud on the ceiling? How the fuck does that even happen?"

"Pein! Believing that you're _'God'_ does not excuse you from taking out the trash!"

"Kakashi! Get my pictures out of your _'Icha Icha Paradise'_ you filthy pervert!"

"Gaara! You cannot kill the maid just because she found your…wait…what the hell was you're teddy-bear doing in my room in the first place?"

"Itachi! You stupid weasel! Give me back my black nail polish!"

"Kakuzu! I needed that money to pay for our electricity bill! It has been three days! Stop pouting!"

"Kimmimaru! Why is Lee at the hospital with an ulna that is literally twisted into a corkscrew?"

"Zetsu's! Arguing with yourself about who gets to take a shower first is completely pointless!"

"Tobi! Did you find that in Hidan's room? Get that out of your mouth right now before you catch something!"

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[Sakura POV]

…Yeah, that's my life now… Do you feel sorry for me yet? No? Well you should! Because it's all your damn fault that I have live with these people! They're crazy! They never leave me alone! It's always something with them! I NEVER get a moment of peace because they barged their way into my life without a second thought!

-sigh-

I bet you're wondering how this is all your fault? I guess you have every right to know, considering it IS your fault, even though you were only indirectly involved in the events that lead up to these …._ things_…. being a constant fixture in my life.

I mean seriously, what kind of friend (_cough-INO-cough_) stands up in the middle of peace conference after the Hokage asked for peace suggestions, to announce that, and I quote, _"Sakura should be married before she turns into a creepy old spinster with eighty-billion cats."_ After that, she just left! Not another word; just walked right out of the room! I mean seriously!

To make matters worse, the Hokage agreed! She smiled and said _"That's a perfect way to maintain peace between the nations. If my apprentice were to marry someone from another village, then a permanent alliance could be forged. Well? What do all of you think of this?"_

…They all agreed….

And when I started to argue, well, the solution was _"We'll have the shinobi and civilians of everyone village involved vote on whether or not this should take place; we'll tally up the numbers and we'll decide by the end of the month. Does that work for you Sakura-chan?"_

…Fucking Shizune…

I thought the women from the involved villages would vote against this stupid settlement, but as it turns out, the majority of the votes for the "peace arrangement" came from the female population opting for an "arranged marriage" between me and some pervert, whom they believe _"Would be the perfect match for you Sakura-sama!"_

…Traitors….

And that is why I believe this is all your fault, because those of you reading this are **only** reading this because you think it's some sort of entertaining love story.

Well it's not! It's an irritating, perverted, absurd, ludicrous….well, you get the picture.

I might as well give you a quick run through on what villages and organizations are involved in…_this…_ :

Suna _(their Kazekage… really?)_

Oto _(why? Orochimaru is a pedophilic freak who abandoned us! Why would we want to help his village?)_

Konoha _(….something about how "It's only fair Baa-chan! We've loved Sakura-chan years before they did!")_

Akatsuki _(I don't even understand why considering they're already an organization dedicated to peace and they already have strong ties to Konoha because they have several members from Konoha in their ranks already!)_

…You can guess from whom I was yelling at earlier who specifically is involved in this ridiculous "courtship game", as Kankuro so affectionately dubbed it…. Yeah, he got kicked somewhere _really_ special for saying that.


	2. Chapter 2

**...yeah, I'm super late, but I have really good excuse! My laptop fell off the ottoman in my living room...while it was still on...so I basically had to get a new hard drive and everything on my computer was completely lost! **

**I had ancient family pictures on there that I need to get back!**

**...there is also some issues going on in my house...my evil sister might be coming home from prison...not cool...**

**-sigh- Sorry, I just had to get that out**

**...**

**Well! [insert bright ass smile here] Here is what I came up with for a second chapter of "The Game"! This fic won't be super long, but while the idea isn't original, I hope you all enjoy it none the less!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of Masashi Kishimoto's stories or characters.**

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[Sakura POV]

-slam!-

"AHHHHHHH!"

...Don't judge me...you would scream too if you found out you had to live with sixteen irritating men.

...SIXTEEN! I don't even care how attractive they are! They annoy me to no-end!

What? You thought I was completely oblivious when it comes to their looks, didn't you?

Well you're wrong! W-R-O-N-G! Those men being attractive just makes my situation even worse!

Hormones. Suck.

I don't even get a choice in this; I have to marry one of these...simpletons.

Attractive they may be, but they are _supremely stupid_.

Now, I understand that the majority of these men have high I.Q's, but that doesn't excuse them from not understanding the words and phrases I use on them practically everyday.

Some of my personal favorites would have to be:

"No."

"Shut up."

"Go away."

"Get those hands away from my ass before I track down Orochimaru and-"

That last one tends to work unless they have been "deprived of my presence", which subsequently ends in one of their stupid catchphrases.

Now most of time, their word choices don't really bother me all that much, but there is this one that makes me want to just-.

-Ahem-

So, now I have to live with all them...ALL OF THEM!

...You have no idea how scared I am right now.

I get molested everyday by AT LEAST one of them!

... Why can't Shishou understand that this is not an "OK" situation...

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_[Flashback]_

_[Sakura POV]_

_"In order for everything to be fair, the boys will have to live on Haruno grounds so that they all can spend an equal amount with you."_

_I stood in the Hokage's office completely shocked. I couldn't believe what had just come out of Shishou's mouth. It was bad enough that she agreed to this entire mess, but now I have to live with them too?!_

_I tried to speak, but before even a single syllable could come ot of my mouth she pointed at me and exclaimed "I know you want no part in this, but Sakura, as my apprentice, there are certain things that you must do for the village; certain responsibilities that you have to uphold."_

_I inhaled slowly, trying to calm down, "I know that Shishou, but we never discussed the idea of an arranged marriage to solidify any bonds the village may have or may form in the future!"_

_She gave me a soft look, a sympathetic look, "That may be true, but with the possibility of war hanging over our heads, it is only best that we strengthen those bonds in any way we can."_

_"So I'm just a means to an end then?! I have no other use than to fuck a high standing man and produce his heirs?!"_

_"You know that is not in any way true! You are like the daughter I never had, but as the Hokage I have to do what is best for the village!No matter what the cost!" she replied, shooting up from her chair._

_I breathed in slowly "One girl's happiness for the sake of peace...I understand now Hokage-sama. Thank you for your time." I bowed low and proceeded to leave her office._

_Walking out of that room with my head held high may have been the hardest thing I have ever done._

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[Present]

[Sakura POV]

-sigh-

Now I feel bad...Maybe I should go talk to Shishou...Just to straighten-

-Bam!-

-Crack!-

"Pretty Cherry-chan!"

"Sakura-chan, yeah!"

"Hey! Hey! Since when were you allowed to call her Sakura-chan?!"

"Sakura-sama, it is wonderful to see you again."

"Quit sucking up Kimmimaru; your brown-nosing is giving off a bad smell." -arf!-

"And you would know what that is like wouldn't you Kiba?"

"Like you have any room to speak on such matters Subaku."

"Now Neji, the last time you said something like that you almost caused an international incident. You have to be careful with your words."

"Hn. Quit being a hypocrite Kakashi; you lie about beign late to team meetings every single day."

"Sakura, I hope you realize that the Akatsuki is not going to be paying for any damage done to your apartment while we are here."

"Kakuzu, Akatsuki funds _will_ be paying for the damage done here today. Sakura-san, I apologize on beha-"

"Yo, Bitch! Did you fuckin' miss me or what?"

"Hidan, please refrain from using such foul language in regards to my doll."

"Love! I have arrived to sweep-...who the hell is _your_ doll Sasori? Because surely it is not _MY_ Sakura you are referring to."

"Now who are you speaking of Uncle? I am sure it is not my Sakura-hime-"

"Itachi **_shut the fuck up_.**"

...Great.. They're here early!

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**I know it isn't very long, but the next chapter will be up in the next few days and it will be at least twice as long as this chapter! :D :D :D**

**Now, you all should know that this story will not be very serious; it is mostly going to be dedicated to fluff and comedy, so a plot really isn't on my mind. I will be posting other stories though! Really long oneshots that are full of plot...sometimes ;)**

**In fact! My next story will be a chibi!Sakura fic! I already have some ideas writeen down! -squeals!-**

**Be excited everyone!**

**Thanks for reading! Please review! It will inspire me to write more chapters and to have more in the chapters as well!**

**Ciao! Sayonara! Bye Bye! :D :D :D**


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